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Real Examples of Firing a Coaching Client

Fortunately, there haven't been many times I've needed to end a coaching relationship, but these two examples of how to nicely fire a coaching client made a lasting impression and taught me valuable lessons for the future.

For some really useful help with firing a client I recommend you also read my page on How to Fire a Client.

In these two case studies:

I learned to professionally and nicely fire a coaching client who was toxic and left me feeling drained after each session.
I handled a client who came to coaching under false pretenses.

How I Let Go of a Toxic Client

When I found myself nearly in tears at the end of a phone session and dreading the next one, I knew something had to change.

This client had told me during our initial chat that he had worked with several coaches who couldn't help him. (That statement alone should have been a red flag, but my ego convinced me I could be the one to succeed.)

I quickly discovered that he was unwilling to do anything except criticize my coaching and suggestions. Strangely, however, he still wanted to continue working (and arguing 😃) with me.

He was clearly uncoachable and had a toxic effect, undermining my confidence.

At the start of his next session, I told him that before we continued, I wanted him to try some of the exercises I had recommended—despite his doubts—and then get back to me.

He never did!

This experience happened before I developed my unique, formal Discovery Session Questions for prospective clients. Since then, I’ve made sure to include this important question:

"Have you been coached before?" If they say yes, follow up with:
"How many times?"
"How was it?"
"Why did you move on?"

Their answers will help you determine whether you can truly help them.

How I Dealt With a Client Who Came for Coaching Under False Pretences

This example of how to nicely fire a coaching client also happened in my early coaching days—before I developed my Discovery Session Questions to understand prospective clients and their reasons for seeking coaching.

This client was a psychologist and presented herself very well. (I was flattered that another professional wanted to work with me!)

But when it came to coaching her, something felt off, and I was confused.

She asked vague questions about setting goals or outcomes but wasn’t engaged or taking any constructive action between sessions.

When I firmly questioned her about this during our third session, she admitted that she didn’t actually want to be coached. She had heard about life coaching and wanted to experience it firsthand to see if she could use it with her clients.

Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed. I (nicely) suggested that instead of pretending she wanted coaching, she should have been upfront. Had she told me the truth, I would have advised her that unless she was willing to be genuinely coached toward a goal or outcome, I couldn’t help her—and that she should consider enrolling in a coach training program instead.

My lesson here was to ask prospective clients who, were vague with their answers during my Discovery Session:

"Why do you want to be coached?" or
"What do you hope to get from life coaching?"

I had to get a congruent answer to be confident that they were genuine and that I, and life coaching, could help.

Balance and Self Care When Clients Stress You

Balance & Self-Care Toolkit

Self care package for life coaching clients

In the course of coaching you may have a client who it turns out is at the effect of someone who, by their actions or attitude is toxic to them and causing them distress.

As part of coaching them through this you could find this Balance and Self Care Toolkit from The Coaching Tools Company a useful investment in your coaching.

The tools include

Self-care check-in
Self-care quiz,
Letting go exercise
And much more...

All of them are brandable to your own coaching and some of the tools may be purchased separately.

More help to grow your coaching skills and promote yourself

I have written a wide range of informative books (all from my own 25+ years experience) that will help you to authentically attract new quality clients, increase your coaching skills and promote your coaching services.

eBook - Mastering the Coaching Discovery Session by Wendy Buckingham