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The Be Do Have Life Coaching Model Explained
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If you haven't used the wonderful Be Do Have life coaching model, this simple explanation will help you understand the concept and how it works. I'll show you how to use this coaching tool with your clients. I also provide some examples of how I have used it which will help you help your coaching clients achieve their outcomes and goals.
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What Is the Be Do Have Concept?
Many educators, philosophers and philosopies have talked in broad terms about the concept of Be Do Have but it was brought into mainstream thinking by Stephen Covey who covered it when his seminal book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was released in 1989.
The concept of Be Do Have is very simple.
Most people make the mistake of simply saying "Everything will be OK when I Have.... (whatever they are wanting). As a result they most often will miss the mark and be disappointed that nothing changes.
However, after establishing a goal or outcome, the chance of success is significantly increased by asking the following questions, in this specific sequence:
- Who do I need to Be
- to Do what I need to do
- to Have a particular goal or outcome?
How Does the Be Do Have Process Work in Life Coaching?
The first thing to know is that there are three aspects to a goal or desired outcome that need to be considered for Be Do Have to be relevant:
- The Have; what is to be achieved - in other words, the goal.
- The Do; the behaviors and actions that need to be in place to make it happen.
- The Be; who a person needs to authentically be. That is, how they need to behave (think and feel) to Do and Have.
Latest Thoughts on Be Do have
Two Missing Pieces Of The Be Do Have Model
Some recent insights into twhe Be Do Have model, published in Forbes Magazine in 2013, was really logical. Nona Djavid is the article's author and she believes that there are two missing links in the Be component.
She says, the model should not only focus on developing behaviour and habits to achieve the goal. It should also introduce how a person needs to feel and think about the goal or project, in order to succeed.
Titled Two Missing Pieces Of The Be Do Have Model, you can read the full Forbes article here. She also mentions the necessity of the vision or goal being an essential part of the process. This is not new and I have already covered it in why we actually start with the Have, which is the goal before we get to the Be, further down the page.
Coaching with a professional life coach is as much about working with the BE of a client (their mindset) as it is about helping them set and plan a path to their goals and supporting and holding them accountable for their actions (the DO) so they can HAVE the personal and professional outcomes they want for themselves.
It need not be complicated!
The BE can include things as basic as becoming someone who:
- remembers to recharge a mobile phone, or
- schedules a time of day to make phone sales calls.
BE can also include such basic things as:
- not buying junk food
- being firm with family or team members about requests that are not acceptable.
The BE can also be driven by the "WHY" of goal achievement. The reason for wanting to HAVE the goals must be strong enough to motivate the client to try what may be an uncomfortable BE decision that takes them out of their comfort zone.
Something to think about.... 🤔
Applying the Be Do Have model to yourself as a coach, who do YOU need to Be to do what YOU need to Do, to Have a successful coaching practice? 😊
Why Not "Have Be Do" as a Coaching Model?
Good Question! To expand on my answer above, we actually do start with the Have which is setting the goal to be achieved. However the process or coaching model to use with our clients to achieving, starts with the Be. This is because we need to first work with the BE - the behavior of the client- to achieve the Do and the Have.
Download This Be Do Have Exercise Sheet
You can download this Be Do Have exercise template for your coaching clients. It can be really useful to help them gain clarity on what may need to change.
Alternatively, create your own!
- On a computer or a piece of paper create a table with two columns. Head the table with the Goal - the Have. Use a separate table for each goal the client wants to set.
- Head the first column with Do and the second Be.
- Under the Do column fill in all the Do's or actions that need to be taken to achieve the goal
- In the Be column fill in who you need to Be and/or how you may need to behave differently and develop habits to effectively Do the Do's. 😀
Why Do Clients Have Trouble Setting Goals With Be Do Have?
The steps required for a coach to lead a client through the journey towards their personal Be are many and varied. As life coaches we will encounter a wide variety of behaviors and unsupportive habits that need to be addressed.
In my book Mastering the Art of Goals Coaching, I demonstrate and thoroughly discuss the steps you can take with your coaching clients to create a Personal Success Policy (PSP). This means that you will have a solid guide to create a PSP for clients from all backgrounds.
Case Study: A Be Do Have Example Using Weight Loss Goals
The simplest way to demonstrate how Be Do HAVE applies to working with coaching clients is with a fitness goal. However, the same principle applies to work or relationship goals, business goals and any other type of major life goal.
It is very common that our coaching clients struggle to achieve fitness or weight loss goals.
To increase their chances of succeeding, your first focus as a coach is to support them to BEcome a person who is willing to find better ways of handling stress or boredom instead of comfort eating and/or procrastinating about exercise. Or they could Be someone who is willing to give up things, at least in the short term, that might sabotage their weight loss. (In my own case this is chocolate and cheese😀)
In other words, to lose weight the client needs to Be someone who can develop strategies to Do what it takes, This may include things like saying No to that second piece of cake or a bad snack habit and Yes to more exercise so they can the Have their desired goal of the slim fit body!
How the process worked with one of my clients
My client wanted to lose weight but she was finding it hard to resist the habit of buying junk food on the way home from work. So she had to Become someone who was strong enough to resist the temptation (Do), so she could reach (Have) the goal losing weight.
She needed coaching support to do this and keep her accountable so I suggested that when she got home from work each day she should text me to say she had made it home without stopping for her junk food "fix".
Because she became accountable to me for how she would Be and Do (someone who would resist temptation and walk on by the shop), she soon broke the habit which then contributed significantly to reaching her weight loss goal.
Read more examples of how I have used Be, Do Have in life coaching
Extra Resources For Be Do Have Coaching
Although not strictly about Be Do Have, these two books can add to your understanding and application with your clients of the concept, as well as providing useful awareness of behaviour patterns. I'd recommend them for your coaching library.
As well, my own book, Mastering the Art of Goals Coaching will provide practical steps to use in all situations with your clients.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Developing habits and behaviors that will serve you to achieve your goals is a key part of the Be in the Be Do Have model. If you haven't read Stephen Covey's classic book of 7 habits to develop for a successful life I'd really recommend it as an invaluable addition to your coaching library. The 7 Habits or behaviors he describes and enlarges upon in the book are:
- Be Proactive
- Begin with the End in Mind
- Put First Things First
- Think Win/Win
- Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
- Synergize
- Sharpen the Saw
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini PhD
This fascinating and easy to read book is about the human condition and what influences us and persuades us to do what we do. Things like "social proof" and "reciprocation".
The Psychology of Persuasion was such an eye opener for me and really helped me define why I and others act and react in certain ways to situations and what I may have to change my Be in the context of the Be Do Have model. Lots of stories and examples make it an easy and enjoyable read, not to mention a valuable asset to your coaching.
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