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Be Do Have Examples For Life Coaching
Page Summary
Learn from these Be Do Have examples from my life coaching practice. These case studies demonstrate how the process can be used to help your clients get more clarity on who they need to be and how they need to behave to more easily achieve their goals.
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Be Do Have Examples: 1
How the concept of Be Do Have Helped Andrew Grow His Business
Andrew (not his real name) had started his engineering business a few years ago and now had as much work as he could handle. On paper, the business was a success but it had become personally unrewarding and he knew he and the business needed to change and grow.
Andrew was suffering from the trap many small business people fall into - they think they have to do everything (or almost everything) themselves to get it right. Sound familiar?!
The result was that he was exhausted, working long hours, taking work home and generally bogged with little time for his hobbies and his young family. He had become stressed, bored and unmotivated.
At the suggestion of his wife, he decided to get some life and business coaching to help him get out of this overwhelm and back to the family life and hobbies he used to enjoy.
In our first coaching session, I helped Andrew realise he had to step back from the “doingness” of the business and start looking forward. This meant using goals to clarify where he wanted the business to be in 5 and then 10 years time.
Further, he also needed to clarify how and when he would like to retire. Then we talked about what needed to change and to achieve that.
He had taken on one staff member (Alan) to help in the office and relieve some of his pressure but was still doing all the quotes and dealing with contractors himself. He was reluctant to make Alan project manage because he wasn't sure he was the right person for the job and was afraid to try him out.
Andrew also had an adult son who he was hoping would take over the business from him when the time came to retire. But he hadn’t got around to talking to him about this succession plan.
Who did Andrew need to Be to achieve this goal?
In this first Be Do Have example for life coaching, the bottom line to Andrew's success was the specific application of the Be Do Have model.
Andrew had to Become someone who was happy to delegate tasks, and experiment in the journey of delegation - the Do. This would free him up to concentrate on growing his business and Have more life and work balance and time with his family.
Andrew's first step was to give Alan more responsibility and a trial period as Project Manager to see how that would work. He also asked him to start creating an operations manual, so that if he left the company at any time, Andrew wouldn’t have to start training someone else from scratch.
Andrew also finally had that conversation with his son and, surprise surprise, found he was very willing to enter the business and learn the ropes to discover if he could commit to taking it over when the retirement time came. 🎉
We also made a list of all the other day to day tasks Andrew was doing in the running of the business to see what could be delegated. He started accepting that being willing to experiment with delegation, employing more staff and outsourcing was an essential investment in himself and the future.
By the end of our coaching series Andrew was feeling more positive and in control and becoming more comfortable and motivated with becoming who he needed to Be, to Do what he needed to Do to reach (Have) his goals. He had renewed motivation to grow the business and, even better, he was able to spend more time with his family.
A great book to recommend to small business clients who are stuck in thinking they have to do it all themselves is best selling The EMyth by Michael Gerber. You can check it out here on Amazon.
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Be Do Have Examples: 2
Annie Had To Learn To Say NO, comfortably
Annie (not her real name) was an intelligent, successful business woman. However, she wasn’t good at looking after her own needs and saying “NO” to the demands of her family, partner and friends.
Annie's friends and son would call her at all hours to share their stories and ask for help with their problems. Her partner, who was also her business partner, would always expect his demands to be attended to before doing what she needed or wanted to do.
Annie felt she had no time to do anything but be there for other people.
The first thing I did with Annie, was ask if she know what was driving her behavior. She was able to identify that her parents had been very demanding and that she had unconsciously decided she had to please people to get their approval and affection.
As a result, pleasing everybody in order to be liked and accepted had become a driving need for her which, of course, was not serving her as an adult.
She really wanted to change, so I coached her through the Be Do Have Process.
Her Be, or behaviour obviously needed to change and Annie now understood she had to set some boundaries in place around what she would and would not do and how she would now allow people to treat her and her time.
It took her way out of her comfort zone, but she practised being someone who could say No and not be so available to everybody.
One of her Do's was being willing to not answer or turn off off her phone when it was not convenient for her to speak to them.
She also explained to her demanding son about her need to please and where it came from and how it was affecting her. She asked for his support in changing her behavior.
It's amazing how often just coaching the client to ask for support from someone rather than getting into conflict has a good result.
And yes you guessed it, her friends, partner and family soon got used to her new behaviour and still liked and approved of her and with extra respect.
Click here if you would like to know more about How To Say No Elegantly
Be Do Have Examples: 3
Mary's Career Was Stalling Because She Was Afraid To Speak Up
Mary (not her real name) an attractive single mother of two, was successful in her job as a Project Manager in her local council and had a career goal to get promoted further up the ladder.
But she had one of the most common career confidence issues - a fear that if she spoke up at meetings her suggestions and ideas would be dismissed and she would be rejected or look silly.
However, she also knew that keeping quiet at those important meetings was certainly not going to help her career. This fear of speaking up also inhibited her personal life, living with her new partner.
Mary came for coaching for help increasing her confidence. I explained the Be Do Have process to her and how it could, with courage and a willingness to move out of her comfort zone, help her overcome this reluctance to speak up.
Mary needed to Become the person who could confidently share her comments and ideas at meetings, the Do, in order to Have the goal of being seen as a candidate for promotion.
We worked on developing some phrases to introduce her ideas and suggestions in a meeting that would make her feel safer from rejection and at the same time show strength and assertiveness.
She practised speaking up at her next few meeting and to her delight it worked. People were interested in her input and whether they agreed with her or not, nobody put down her ideas or belittled her.
This soon gave her the courage to apply for promotion to the management of a big project - which she got and successfully completed.
This new assertiveness flowed through to her new relationship. She decided living with her new partner and doing what he wanted to do all the time was not a good idea. Whilst not ending the relationship completely she moved out into her own home and started establishing her own fearlessly independent and assertive life.
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